I’m tangled up in this web I call life. Weaving in and out of lines not knowing which one is a wrong turn, but none of that matters. Learning the way things go and how to correct a mistake is what counts. Tonight was my break in silence beneath the stars and the moon. I’m not a foe, enemy, nemesis or stranger. I’m simply fighting back tears from anger, frustration and fear. I don’t want to have to look around every corner I turn or tip toe up a dark street or alley trying to hide from you which are my past. I’m not afraid for my life, though some may be. I’m only afraid of my future. Trying to figure out how I can not want to be around someone who there’s been equal pain caused on both parts. And trying to get up and move past that wasn’t hard, but the resurfacing is. I never hated you or was disgusted. I’m just trying to be make you be stronger without me because I’m not coming back. I can’t for my sake and yours. I’ve let a lot of things fall behind over four letters that are so impactful. I’m just trying to be the best that I can on my own. And every time there’s an incident I’m reminded that being by yourself often means your defenseless. Needless to say I’ll always care, which Is why I fought back tears on that stoop. Your persistent is something that I may never understand but will serve another woman well. But the fear of going on and learning over and how to trust in someone else when you hang personal threats over my head. You don’t deserve me. Life has taught me much, but I feel like I’m learning more without you, without pressure, force, or judgment. I’m finally just me and getting back to the way I was before you came about. A soul that was mending and given a chance to believe because you provided it. Now it’s all about me, and I’m providing chance for myself. Thank you for the lessons, the memories and the self learning. But I’m embarking the journey of learning for myself and by myself and that takes time. And reflecting and spending time with my thoughts takes time. I may not be ready to scream and shout now for a long time. But when I do it’ll be sweet and it’ll make sense why it took me so long. Patience is a virtue and you’ll get your reward or your deliverance. Time forgives all but sometimes people don’t. I’m right where I want to be. Not carrying over anger into another day because I’ve forgiven as hard as it may be and as unfair as it may seem to some. Even if I look at that digit image of time captured and feel there’s no other place I could imagine myself or any place that I’d rather be. I can’t turn back.